How Women Lose Themselves and Find Their Way Back

On reclamation and the journey of coming home to yourself

At some point in many women’s lives, we realize something quietly but profoundly.

Somewhere along the way, we left pieces of ourselves behind.

Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just slowly, through the process of growing up, belonging, surviving, and trying to become the person we thought we were supposed to be.

The journey of coming home to yourself is an act of reclamation.

rec·la·ma·tion 

noun 

the process of claiming something back or reasserting a right.

Reclamation is remembering who you were before the world told you who you needed to be.

The Many Versions of Ourselves

Throughout the journey of life and womanhood, we move through phases where we begin to question everything we thought we knew.

We seek out new experiences that reshape how we see ourselves and others. We move to new cities. We go off to college. We experience heartbreak. We chase new opportunities and unfamiliar paths.

In many ways, we are blank canvases continually forming into a piece of art.

But sometimes that canvas becomes so layered with the strokes of the world and our experiences that the original artwork becomes difficult to recognize.

For many women, this process begins early.

As teenagers, we search for validation and belonging. We move through friend groups trying to feel accepted. We abandon hobbies we once loved because they are no longer considered cool or socially acceptable.

Without realizing it, this is often when we first learn to betray ourselves.

When Reinvention Becomes Disconnection

The pattern often continues into adulthood.

We go off to college or start new chapters believing we need to become someone entirely different. We leave behind communities, routines, and sometimes even parts of our identity in the excitement of starting over.

A new city. New friends. A new version of ourselves.

We convince ourselves that a new chapter requires a brand new canvas.

But the truth is we never needed to throw the old one away.

What makes our lives beautiful is not reinvention. It is integration.

We never needed to abandon ourselves in order to experience the fullness of life.

The Awakening Many Women Experience in Their 30s

For many women, this realization begins to surface in our 30s.

Astrologically, some refer to this period as a Saturn return, a time when we reflect on the first decade of adulthood and begin asking deeper questions.

What did I accomplish? What am I proud of? What would I change? What do I want the next decade of my life to look like?

For me, entering my 30s became a catalyst for coming home to myself.

I began to yearn for the familiar. Old hobbies I had pushed to the back burner like making tie-dye shirts and scrapbooking. I remember pulling out old photos and laughing at the bright colors and patterns I used to make without thinking about whether they were impressive or productive.

It reminded me that there was once a version of me who created simply because it brought me joy. Realizing that we have left pieces of ourselves behind while chasing what is new and exciting can bring up many emotions.

Excitement. Peace. Grief.

Because reclaiming yourself means acknowledging where you lost yourself along the way.

Reclamation Is Not a Solo Journey

Thankfully, we do not have to walk this path alone.

Reclamation is not a solo act.

In some of my lowest moments, my community of sister friends and my family reminded me who I was before the titles, the accolades, and the accomplishments.

There is something incredibly grounding about being around people who knew you before the world did. The people who remember who you were before the expectations, before the pressure, before the performance.

They remind you that the version of yourself you are searching for never actually disappeared.

She was simply waiting for you to stop abandoning her.

The Moment You Start Being Yourself Again

I saw a TikTok recently that said,

“I knew I was healing when I started being weird again.”

And that resonated deeply with me.

We all have quirks. Unique hobbies. Dreams that may not make sense to anyone else. Those things are not distractions from who we are. They are often the most honest expressions of who we are. The journey of reclaiming yourself is really the journey of allowing those parts of you to exist again.

Without apology. Without explanation. Without shrinking.

If You’re on a Journey of Reclaiming Yourself

If you are currently rediscovering parts of yourself you once set aside, remember this. You are not behind. You are not starting over. You are returning.

Returning to the version of yourself that always existed beneath the expectations and roles.

And most importantly, remember this.

You do not have to do it alone.

This is also the work we explore inside Untamed. Creating spaces where women can tell the truth about their lives and reclaim the parts of themselves they once left behind.

Because reclamation was never meant to be a solo journey.

Reflection

What is one part of yourself you are reclaiming right now?

A hobby. A dream. A boundary. A way of being.

If you’re open to sharing, I would love to hear in the comments.

Your story might remind another woman that she is not alone in her journey.